ABOUT ME ACHIN TO BE OR NOT TO BE

I am anonymous unless you know me. And I'm sure you do know someone like me. I may be the lady next to you at the bar, I may have been the gal you liked in high school who left for Hollywood. I may be someone you bought or commissioned art from. I may have been your dog walker, your personal assistant, your shop girl. I may be your one degree of separation.

I'm not sure who I am but I'll always be Achin' To Be. The Replacements have sung my song since 1984 when I first heard "Unsatisfied" and "Answering Machine." Many of us thought they wrote and sang directly to us. And eventually we felt we knew them. They remain part of my soul, but don't tell anyone.

I couldn't be a flapper in the 20's or a hippy in the 60's,  so somehow I found myself in the middle of the comedy boom in the 80's. Hollywood was my education but it also realized a lot of emotional highs and lows. I have the archives in photos, art and in journals and memories. Here I will find a way to communicate the me it made and the be to which I'm achin'.

The Replacements
Achin' To Be

Well she's kind of like an artist
Sittin' on the floor
Never finishes, she abandons
Never shows a soul

And she's kind of like a movie
Everyone rushes to see
And no one understands it
Sittin' in their seats

She opens her mouth to speak and 
What comes out's a mystery
Thought about, not understood
She's achin' to be

Well she dances alone in nightclubs
Every other day of the week
People look right through her
Baby doll, check your cheek

And she's kind of like a poet 
Who finds it hard to speak
Poems come so slowly 
Like the colors down a sheet

She opens her mouth to speak and
What comes out's a mystery
Thought about, not understood
She's achin' to be 

I've been achin' for a while now, friend
I've been achin' hard for years

Well she's kind of like an artist
Who uses paints no more
You never show me what you're doing
Never show a soul 

Well, I saw one of your pictures
There was nothin' that I could see
If no one's on your canvas 
Well, I'm achin' to be 

She closes her mouth to speak and
Closes her eyes to see
Thought about an' only loved 
She's achin' to be 
Just like me